who know what the feeling of me right this moment ?
i got a lot of stuff to think .
honestly to say ,
i m upset for everymoment .
i done a lot of stupid crazy thing for this past few day .
ya , i know that no more turning point for me .
is all because of me , i should not try to do so at 1st but its now too late for everything .
i ruin all the things .
yea , the way i ruin this thing not means that i m really so bad enough .
i know what wrong that i m doing , that is from my chong dong .
i admit that she make the right decision to dump me away and away because i hurt her much .
my word which are just treatening her , i should understand her feeling when the time i not yet say about it .
why i m so stupid antd always do such sucks stuff ?!
who know my feeling for now ?
everything changed .
the way she treat me for now are totally different from the first time we meet up .
i m upset but then i know that is karma for me .
i know that the way she treat me now is what i should get for now .
i trying my best to get back her even whats crazy stuff also i did ady for my last chance also i still failed , thats what i expect earlier from that .
i m sorry for everything .
i just hope that ur life will getting more and more bright ! hope that u happy just like the colour of rainbow .
smile always .
i cant be the perfect partner for u .
so that i should give up everything for now .
this is what should i get at last , i know .
dun worry on me . i m okay .
i just can say that i love you always .
u deep inside my heart
hard to get someone who can replace it anymore .
between , i promise that i surely will be more and more good than before .
thanks you for all the happy memories u give to me , i love to be with u .
eventhough i cant hav the last hug from u , i cant hold ur hand anymore ,but i still can feel the warm that given by u all the time .
i know its hard to forgive someone who hurt u deeply , i know is hard to replace the heart that u already heartless towards me , but i can tell u truely from my heart that i already try my very best .
i done a lot of things that i never do it before .
i love myself , i love u too .
i love the thing u gave to me .
i love to be acc by u .
well , u are always the good listener for me .
thanks for all the shiny days v pass through before that u gave to me .
i will always remember it =)
yea , imma damn stress and pressure for now .
those stuff kill me soon .
65 drawing i have to finish up in a very shorten time .
i cant even draw a nice thing for nw .
65 drawing is actually not really hard for me but u know where my stress come from ?
is the night when i m trying to draw smth about her but few hour i stone at there i still cant get the way to start it !
who understand my feeling on that time !
D len is only the one who tell me = c.w , how u gonna draw out a things for now ? once u look on her pic that appear on ur lappy , ur mind cant be relax again .u giving urself too much of pressure already !
but i cant stop it . no one can stop it . who can dunwan think about his partner that nice to her before ?
i never complain to anyone about my stress on my work .
because thats my choice to study in this programme .
i expect it earlier ago .
but i also need someone who can be my listener always .
last time was she , but now is no one .
honestly seriously i want to share my thing with her but then i cant get back her heart anymore
everytime once i share my thing with her , i will getting more and more comfortable .
wowww..my life nowaday really sucks .
its hard to balance all the stuff that in my mind for now .
who can be my listener for now ?
can someone talk and hav fun in call together with me when i m stress ? no one who can replace it even dlen .==
as u ppl know , i damn dun like to gossip by ppl .
well , nowaday i m just like a ppl who can be their target to be gossip.
i m so scare for everyday .
i dun like to face any of my fren for now .
eventhough i m going to sg soon , who know whats inside my heart .
i just dunno how to face everybody who will be going together .
everything become worst .
but i cannot blame on anybody because all this trouble is come from me .
again , me the one who makes thing worst !
god , teach me what to do for now okay or not ?
i m trying my best to do my all work perfectly before i go to sg why i just cant do it properly ?
where is the spirit ?
my right hand ! why u always shake ?!!!!
u shake until i cant draw out a straight line u know !!
go away from me .
no one who can be my listener anymore pls .
god , can u just forgive me pls .
i promise u my GOD , i surely will be the perfect one after this .
i already try my best .
can u just try to relax me pls .
the day that most hard for me to pass .
chean wei
18/05/2011
4pm sharp !
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