i failed .

again . i cant chill .

for not to make her be dissapointed again , can i just give out whatever i hope and just let her be happy ?

for her .. i m always not that chill .

but then ..

i not means that ..

but what the answer she give to me really hurt a lot thats why i just wanna to tell her ...

at last ..

she will only comment on me that i cant change and chill .

ya .

she dissapoited again and again .

i already try my best .

i know she aint happy at all to together with me .

so can i just give up and just let the everything goes .. maybe this is the way to let her be happy always ?

i hearts her ...

i hurt her

yea . i know that i hurt u much .

i make u dissapointed .

but then ..

because of i love u i have to say so .

the way for me to solve this problem is i want both of us know what problem on us and only hav a lil changes on it

this the way for us to solve the problem ..

but conclusion for now .. u never want to give us a chance to try but then u just keeep on ur decision that v not suitable or wad ...

not that i cant be patient .

just i wanna clear for everything and so just v can successs in every plan of us that planned before .

i dunno what should i do anymore .

maybe i stop disturb ur life is the best for u ...

i try my best already but then i still failed on everything .

i know i uselesss .

i broke all the promise on take care on u or wadever about i love u ..

i give up for now is just because i dunwan to argue with u anymore . i know ur tired . i jiust give up because i love u .

i know u hope for peace .

anyway ,

i love u my dear .

do love u always .

my heart damn aches for now honestly .

sorry for offline in the sudden .

i miss her

is wake up in the sudden on the sharp0544am now ..

i cant even fall in sleeep .

exhauted but then i miss her badly .

where are you ?

are you fine ?

hais

my lovely mum

my mum ,

who ask me go out with her to the bank for passing something to me .

omg, my mum

she did a lot for our family ,

by the way ,

i look on her face ,

我发现了她的辛苦 ，

我也开始发现了她逐渐地老了,

when the way i come back to penang with sis ,

i told her ,

sis , mum look old than before a lot dy . omg ! the aches in my heart raise wey ! luckily i can control , so called (ai bin ) .. i just take it nothing but then i just try to release all my feeling at here that without knowing by any ppls .

try to think if i without mum , what kind of ppl i will be for now .

mum , thanks for did so much for our family .

i know that u put a lot of hope on me this son .

i will never tell u all about this .

but then i promised myself that i will did back alot for u .

u will be proud of me at the last but not dissapointed .

sorry for the past the i did a lot that makes u worry and dissapointed about it just like i cant even finish the diploma when the time i m in kl .

sorry for my stubborn cause a lot of hurt towards you .

sorry for i always scold back u when the time i get scold by you .

because of my unpatient , u all always give me the chance to change and wont scold me a lot about that , just will tell me about that that i have to change .

sorry for everything expecially for the time i makes u tears ....

really sorry for that .

mum , i love you .

trust me .

i will be the one who make u proud .

I AINT PERFECT AT ALL ! * but i will change my everything to be perfect just like one in an million !

i love you mum and also my lovely family .

thanks for the support all the way .

she always pops out in my mind

She is the one who gave me a lot of energy before .

I keep on telling one of my friend that i miss her .

I hope that we can same back as before .

but again.......

everything of mine start to change since the day we seperate .

I finally realise how bad am i .

i cant tolerate with every ppls .

my attitude just sucks .

i m only the ppl who always forgive or tolerate by ppls until i not really realise it .

today , i get it and i am sure that i will change for everything .

i will be patient on everything .

by the way control my stubborn .

not be so sticky .

i know she dun like it ..

MY DEAr .

can i still same as before calling u as my dear ?

can i still same like before can story u when u are free ?

can i be the one who answer ur call when u having nightmare ?

i got a lot of can i ....

when will we got the chance again ?

or maybe no more ?

i love you .still the same miss u every moment .

u makes me got the feel wanna go kl to find u right now but then i have to chill for my final 1st . =)

i know sure u will mroe angry on me if i do so ..

i cannot be so disgusting ! hahahhahhaa

however , i hope u are fine for now ..

not to be so tress .

chill in ur final .

relax ur mind more .

sleep more .

dun give urslef too much of pressure .

but then dun always spend ur money okay ?

dun take those pillls if too stress or headache okay ?

many of don `t to u ! hahaha

waiting for ur back .

i cant wait to see u honestly .

although v are no more couple .......

end of today ..

sleep time ...

good night and also goodbye ppls .

text for Her that will not be send out today .

``my dear , so called da fei .

ni zhe ji tian zeng yang ar ?

you mei you bi jiao fang song zhi ji ar ?

shui de hao bu hao ar ?

how about ur finals ar ?

how ur lect treat u ar ?

u long time din show me ur work already yea .

i like u lansi ur works to me ar ?

between , u got ur talent ! hehe

honestly from my heart ! i love ur book cover and typo much but then i din say smth nice to u ! muahahhahaa

okay la . sleeep easrly for the night . good night and sleeep tight . i love you miss u muchiessss ....

=) ``

FROM THE ME LCW =(

i know u dun like it ...

how are you ?

how are u today ?

still the same busying with ur final ?

got enough of rest ? take ur lunch already ?

will u feel boring ?

got drink lot of water ?

need some story to chilll ?

do u got miss me just same like i miss you ?

sorry that u loved you .

still the same i wanna find u but i worry .

worry that i m annoying for you .

worry that i talk about the sensitive things again .

scare that wont have the chance anymore .

i love you my girl .

hope that you are mine .

bright future waiting for us .

but all that ....

is now already become the impossible .

woww....

hope u happy forever .

smile sweet stills .

u are always the best for me .

the most perfect gf who can change me a lot

the most perfect gf that i not even hav before .

i love you just like what i told others that i love you .

still the same ,

melissa tan ,

sorry to you because i cant be perfect for you .

i do love you and miss you much .

=)

u such my angel

good morning ppls ,

is really lack of sleep and feeel tired for this few day because of i not really can hav a good sleep in this few day .

again and again , i dreamed her .

well, i know those are only the sweet moment in my dream ,

i hope that it can be real but then i know that was impossible ,

she is sweet in my dream ,

care enough in my dream ,

i feel the warm from her in my dream ,

i really miss her a lot ,

honestly , is a dream , honestly i dreamed her ...

why only got the dream but then not in the realistic life ?!

seriously down .

i cant even stop thinking her !

i know i cant !

although i try !

i learn to be control well in everything but i know i failed .

well, final soon . i stress enough i want all the best in my work , but the situation of me by now is more stress and stress ....

i hope that it back to before .. i hope that everything can turn back to before ...

the us that without any worrying and enjoying all the moment without any stresss ....

Please

love u .

u will never know ..

well, bed time story to be continue but then have to finish up the blog of today .

again i have to shout out it at here .

no one will know .

i act nothing at all but then the aches the pain in my heart that will not feel by others ppl .

our distance become more far and far .. i cant even forget those moment of love .

u can say that v are just start and end in a very short period but then the truth love from me .. no one will know.. no one will trust .. i will never tell others .. u cant understand me ..

again , i continue to text my love early in the morning and doest get any reply from her . i know she treat me hopeless again and again because again my chao kuan out again , i cant be patient .. i know that she hate it much .. i try to hav a call with her wanna tell her about whats going to do of me by the moment but then she was only give me a short respon that she was busy , i know she hate me much .. i try my best and my best to get the forgiveness from her but i failed and failed again ..

i know thats hard ..

i cant be selfish .. well , for me sure i dunwan to los her but maybe she make the decision on leaving me is really a right decision for her . i cant give her any of confident and any of happiness when she was with me . i will only give her the stress and much more of pressure with she was with me , i should agree and support on what she decide . i cant be selfish . She love herself , she dunwan to hurt herself , she protect herself , i should no worry at all and just let her go .. maybe she can find a good one ..is not worth at all for her to continue with me , i love her i have to support her . i hope she will be perfect on anything of her . by the way , i choose to let myself get hurt rather than she get hurt . i aint perfect at all .

honestly i miss her alot on everymoment , the She is always pops out in my mind .. i feel that she is sweet enough cute enough .. once i got this kind of thinking in my mind , no one who can stop me from finding her . i wanna to chat with her , i wanna text with her , i wanna an call with her , i got lot of story to tell her , but then until the last i failed to do so because again and again my mind was telling me that not to be so disturbing and annoying to her . She got her life , she can protect herself =)

we plan alot when we are been together , but thennn .. there is too much of happened on us ..

i cant stop imagine all the moment , but now....

all start to change...

there is a lot of changing between both of us ..

the love .

the care .

the life .

the talk .

the contact .

the miss .

the ...

i know myself that i really dun hope to los her ..

but i know that is impossible for us ..

i failed to be a man for her ..

but thanks for alll the chances she give for both of us ..

i like us ...

i miss us ...

i love us...

but then all the change are now happened on us..

until now ..

v are no more the us ..

no one can blame us ..

i love HER ..

i can only wish her ..

hope that i can protect her by doesnt know by her ..

chill for both of us .

continue my bed time story ,

good night my love ,

i love u a lot and i miss u too .

sorry that i cannot be the one who can protect u and give u the comfortable of the feeling .

i dunwan to give u too much of tiredness so that i have to stop disturbing u and run into ur life anymore .

yea , i know all the fault from me .

i admit that i not understanding u well .

i always blame myself .

i no confident anymore because i know that impossible for us .

because i am always the loser .

loser of love .

i should blame myself because of 我不珍惜你

我爱你 melissa .

my msg to her that will not text to her .

love .. hopeless ..

其實我也不知道

你的眼光其實我都感覺得到
有些事情本來就很奧妙
無心的玩笑 故意挑剔的爭吵
都是愛情的前兆

你的眼淚其實我也感覺得到
有些事情真的很難預料
愛情的面前 我們真的太渺小
應該怎麼說才好

其實我也不知道 其實我也很苦惱
其實我很害怕你想要的我都做不到
除了緊緊的擁抱 誰能承諾天荒地老
我的苦笑 是否你能明瞭

其實我也不知道 其實我也很煎熬
其實我也想過放棄一切什麼都不要
緣份如此美妙 卻又如此困擾
是歡笑迷宮 又像寂寞監牢
讓人只想逃跑

你的眼淚其實我也感覺得到
有些事情真的很難預料
愛情的面前 我們真的太渺小
應該怎麼說才好

其實我也不知道 其實我也很苦惱
其實我很害怕你想要的我都做不到
除了緊緊的擁抱 誰能承諾天荒地老
我的苦笑 是否你能明瞭

其實我也不知道 其實我也很煎熬
其實我也想過放棄一切什麼都不要
緣份如此美妙 卻又如此困擾
是歡笑迷宮 又像寂寞監牢
讓人只想逃跑

嘿 謝謝你對我那麼好
我 常常覺得無以回報
愛 就是這麼微妙
它無法強求 它出現的時候不必尋找

其實我也不知道 其實我也很苦惱
其實我很害怕你想要的我都做不到
除了緊緊的擁抱 誰能承諾天荒地老
我的苦笑 是否你能明瞭

其實我也不知道 其實我也很煎熬
其實我也想過放棄一切什麼都不要
緣份如此美妙 卻又如此困擾
是歡笑迷宮 又像寂寞監牢
讓人只想逃跑

14032011

dear my da fei ,

i know u will not read for my blog , even that u will forget about my blog but then i still have to write it out about my feeling for now right here .

nobody who knows , nobody will ask , i will only shout out it at here .

today was the 1st day that v are totally out of contact since the 1st i know u until now .

i m really lack of comfortable because of this stuff but then i have to used to it because all the troublesome is comes from me , i know that was my fault , i failed to be a good bf for u .

i try myself not to be that but then i still cant make any changing on it , i know i was given lots of chances from u but then i still the same so stubborn

until today , u cant bare anymore and u get this chance to seperate with me only i realise that how much u are important to me and how much that sticky i am . i din ever learn to be more independent , once i din do anything then i will find u although u telling me that u are busy .

i know i m selfish . i promise myself that i will change . that lot of time i make the promise , but then i failed to do so .

this time again i promise to myself , i hav to make some changing on my this shit attitude . i trust that i can , i hope that u trsut me too and give me one more of the chance . i din expect too much from u seriously , but then i know its hard to get ur trust anymore .

i miss u a lot . i wanna hav a call with u . i wanna jokes with u . i need u kasi me . i need u perli me . i wanna share my things with u .

once be with u i never feeel any stress on anythings . u give me the feel of comfortable and also the confident , but then again and again i make u dissapointed . i feel wanna slap die myself .

i will wont disturb u anymore .

i hope to get back u , seriously but i know thats very hard . u not trust me anymore .

i love u a lots .

i miss u a lot .

i love the called by u as da fei for u because i know that i m really fei . hehe

but now ..

i m totally failed .... i failed....

i had nothing for now ...

just because of my selfish ........

my stubborn ...

my insane ...

my sticky ...

my ....

my....

i need you ! because u seriously can makes me change a lot ..

my hopes ...

..

but everything is gone... totally los all of the thing because of i never appreciate the chance that given to me ....

well . the troubles that from myself .

22012011 0100

is a nice date that i not even met it before . haha

she finally accepted me as her partner .

here is the starting point for us to get in a new relationship.

i love her a lot , i promised her a lot , i hope i can change all the attitude that should be change for myself , i trust her , i wish her be happy for all the times , hope she can share all the things that she cannot solve with me , hope that i m the one who important to her for sometimes , hope that she is the one who treat me sincere (not like others , the omg ! ) , i got so many hopes.. haha . sound like very over ! muahaha

from the day that i decided to chase her start , i promised myself that i will treat her nicely and appreciate on everything that she show me . She is the only one i love and i hope that she will be also the last one for me until the end of my life . (i know this is the rubbbish thinking for her but then i really hope so >is 2+ yr old for now , i should plan everything for myself ,should stop playing around and work hard for my future , u know that i m kind of the ppl who ngai alot and hope to win on everything , to prove that i m the one who really can successs so i should plan everything < the planned for me is not only the rubbish , i hope it will be the right one ! ) =)

she doest give me any stress when i m with her . I learned a lot from her .

i had learned to be more patient on everything , not to be careless , not to be selfish , not to me so abondon , not to be ngai ....alot a lot ... i heart her ! haha

hope that she is the right one for me ! and i promise that i wont make her dissapointed on everything about me once she is still with me ....until the end .....of my life ......

wow...seriously lack of sleep for nowaday

quite stress for my work for sometimes and some stuff that always stuck in my mind that only know by myself .

enjoy the few day that flies with dlen and jiaki , non stop shopping .

quite excited when the time i success to bought something for my love one although it not really an expensive stuff . hope that she will love it a lot

time to fight for my final , the few day for me is enough for me to relax my mind . hope that i got the new idea for my final .

between , i cant stop thinking and waiting for the back of my loved one . hahaha .

hope to see her soon .(quite miss her for sometimes)